thursday=up and down day

i love thursday. i have small groups on this day. so all of today i was looking forward to it. it was so hard to focus on lectures because one i stayed up way to late...well early and didnt take a showed to wake myself up. lectures were still good though. we got to hear a little about our speakers life before he was a christian and his home life. i was really tragic but also so enchoraging because he has become an awesome man of god. i cant wait till tomorrow becaue david has the spiritual gift of prophacy. maybe he will have a word for me.

well the fest of the day was pretty much a blur until tonight. so we aka my small group was really excited about this weeks get together because we were going to go bowling. okay i totally such at bowling but to my surprise i won. well just by one pin. but i think that it was a rigged machine because sometimes when you wouldnt hit a pin and it would still say that you hit one. this was odd because the place was called ten pin bowling. it was more like eleven pin! well anyway that was amazing i got a 72, crap but still won but whatever it doesnt matter to me i just had fun. the place was so american like you wouldnt be able to tell that you were in another country if all you did was go to the bowling. i do not wish that on anyone though so dont do it. after magical bowling we went to the mount beach in the dark. it is quite funny how almost every small group we end up going to the beach. it was amazing. the stars were very bright the waves were big and the water was not that cold. i was so excited to get to the beach and like a true oregon beach girl i threw off my flats, rolled up me pants and ran out into the water. kristin my swedish love was hesitant to join me but finally did. she had never experiance the wonderfulness of running out while a wave is going out into the ocean and then waiting for another to come out and run so that it doesnt "catch" you. she was having so much fun. she loved it so much that she didnt want to come home even when we were soaked to our thighs. because we loved that beach so much and i have never seen it in the day light we have decided to go to it tomorrow afternoon if the weather will allow.

i love bowling shoes

i won!!!


we returned home wet and covered in sand but happy as ever. this was well until i got on my email. i had a few emails from different people back home and they were not that pleasent. i learned about some stuff that i didnt really want to know. it also made me want to come home. this was not a very settling thing to think. i mean i am having the time of my life and i am feeling like i want to leave? i suddenly felt sick to my stomach and began to cry not because i was home sick but because at that moment i knew that this is the only place that i want to be at this moment. i am so happy that i am not at home. i mean i love home and all but i love it here and now just a little more. i dont know i have realized that i have not really had any strong christian relatiohships with anyone my age. this is because i have moved from church to church and have not really had a solid foundation with people my age such as a youth group. poeple i can relate to and talk about my spiritual struggles. i have come to realize that i really need that and i dont have that at home, but here i do have it, everyday all around the clock. i feel so close to these people and i cant imagine leaving them! i have been praying alot if i am to stay for the another half year after my school working on the ship, and honestly right now that is looking pretty good. i realize that in my last blog that i said that i miss high school but now tonight as god has revealed this to me i dont miss it. i am happy for the memories but i am ready to move on and start a new life. this does not mean that i will loose contact with all of my friends for high school i just dont want to be a main part of their high school experiance. they need to have and make there own. i have been there and done that. i am ready to make college and life away from home and my home town experiences and i am happy to say that i am on the right track. being here has opened my eyes and my heart to what is really out there and gods plan for me. i dont want people at home to be offended once they read this. there is nothing that any of them could have done different, this is an issue between me and god. no one else. seriously no one! not even you. well i have to go to bed now i am in a inbetween mood of deep sadness and utter joy! well thus ends my up and down day. i hope that tomorrow will be better.

love from me in nz